Why is my ex wife still being mean, when she has got the house & kids?

She may resent that her dream of a happy, intact family has been crushed. Women don't just want the house and the kids. We want the full deal: we want a loving, respectful relationship, in which we can be a whole person, and our kids and home as well. Your former wife may blame you for the marriage break-down. She may not be right to blame you, but whether her anger is rightful or not, it sounds like she blames you. I hope you both can work your way to greater peace.

Depends on what you mean by mean, what has led to the split and how the separation has been managed.
When trust, agreements and contracts are broken this is bad enough, but how it's broken without out proper consideration for others is like placing salt on an open wound.

On a deeper level and similar to what Brenda has said, sounds like she hasn't forgiven herself for the expectations she has/had for her life. She is really angry at herself and hopefully takes ownership and personal responsibility for this sooner than later, but give her time and space to adjust to the shock and new changes.

Hi John, what you have written is not similar at all to what I meant.