Many relationships fall apart due to I believe the misunderstanding, misuse and absence of sex. If you are reading this article before you have Separated and gone to lawyers, you just may be able to save your marriage or relationship by re-establishing or introducing some moral code and ethics around the purpose of sex.
Alternatively, if you have Separated or Divorced the following may help give you some clues as to why your previous relationship went off the rails, in a strong bid to ensure the next one stays firmly on the tracks.
Often their are many bad ways sex is used including various forms abuse, violence, using sex as a weapon, form of barter or way of controlling another.
However, in Dr. Allan Meyer's book 'From Good Man to Valiant Man' he lists the 8 purposes of sex. A guide to both understand sex and using it for the right purpose.
While this book is predominantly aimed at men, women will no doubt find the below information of great interest and value.
1. Sex is designed by God for union
God designed sex to bring two people into union. Two people come together with different personalities and different backgrounds to share their bodies, bedrooms and their lives with all the diverse challenges that life can bring. Sex is designed to link people, join them together and change them in the process to last a lifetime. That's why we need to ensure that we don't link ourselves with people we have no intention of remaining faithful to for the rest of our lives. Sex changes you.
2. Sex is for bonding
Sex is glue.
If only young people understood that one of the greatest privileges of marrying without a series of prior sexual relationships is that sex glues us to someone for a lifetime. For this cause a man will leave his father and mother and stick to his wife, or glue himself to his wife. Sex is designed by God as a bonding experience.
The bible says "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."
It's important to say that when sex is not functioning as glue in a marriage or relationship, it can turn to dynamite and blow a couple apart.
3. God gave sex to us for the purpose of intimacy
Sex is designed by God to help two people truly know one another. Your sexual relationship is intended to provide an opportunity to draw both of you physically and emotionally close together to truly know each other.
4. Sex is for procreation
Sex isn't simply for us to have fun, although fun is part of the deal. God desires to use sex to create and make you in to a family.
5. Sex is revelation
God wants to explain things to you about eternity and about heaven for which there are no words. For example God says, "I want you to come to me with a circumcised heart". What on earth does that mean? Circumcision is the removal of the foreskin of the penis. Once the foreskin is removed there is no guardian of flesh; the penis is exposed for every act of intimacy. That becomes a revelation of what God is looking for in your relationship with him. God wants you to come to him with your heart open and transparent, not clothed in flesh. There are many spiritual insights that would be incommunicable if sex did not exist. Sex exists to give a language to spiritual things that would otherwise be a mystery beyond understanding.
6. Sex is for pleasure and comfort
Sexual intimacy has the power to pour the oil of comfort on a human heart. In a world where there is so much hurt, trouble and pain, sex has the ability to comfort and relieve some of the pain of life. Through the biochemistry of sexual intimacy God deliberately designed sex to bring pleasure and comfort.
7. Sex is for healing
Sexual intimacy can bring forgiveness that washes away mistakes and restores full and total acceptance of one another. The power of sexual intimacy causes forgiveness to be sealed. In family life there will always be tensions and conflicts that have the ability to pull you apart. God wanted sexual intimacy to reconfirm the fact that we are bonded together in family. The biochemistry of sex underline's God's commitment to our healing and well-being. Endorphins and enkephalins released in sexual intimacy reduce physical pain and promote healing, so much so that a happily married man lives nine years longer than his single counterpart.
8. God gave us sex for discipleship
Sex and marriage are among the greatest discipleship tools in life. While sex is endowed with a powerful potential for pleasure it also demands that we learn the difficult skill of containing our own desire and the pursuit of personal pleasure in circumstances where acting on our desires will curse rather than bless. Sex is a gift that will require us to learn how to do life like a child of God. Sex presents us with challenges designed to train us in the character of God. In taking the challenge of the discipleship of your sexuality seriously you can discover one of the greatest breakthroughs in your life.
Guess the only tricky part may be finding the right partner who agrees with and follows the same code...
With love, kindness and an abundance of intimacy amongst you all
Michael
For a wonderful website to express and view comments of gratitude visit: www.IamSoGrateful.org
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