Lawyers — who's in charge of who?

By Michael Knight

Tuesday 21 July 2009

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If you don't know how lawyers really operate and the tricks and games they play — you are hereby advised to stay well clear of them, at least for now, for your own psychological and financial health and well-being.

Unless you have the moxy, operate from a position of assertiveness plus and no fear, and whatever else it takes to deal with a lawyer to get the right advice, your instructions followed to the letter, to get what you want and have paid for, getting value for money and honesty to boot, chances are you will be disappointed, possibly being subjected to their intimidation, insulting demeanour and deception, all in all come away feeling lousy and even more powerless.

So if you don't wish to come off second best, arm up now and be prepared.

The hide of a lawyer can be likened to that of a rhinoceros or bull, so don't ever think you will hurt their feelings. I'm sure some are perhaps void of feelings. I know some that I've met over the years have certainly appeared that way. Their often dry, lifeless and boring personality, character flaws by the dozen, pales into insignificance when compared with their arrogant and pretentious attitude, oozing insincerity and dishonesty from their mouth. A person, society led you to believe you could trust.

Lawyers are a breed unto their own. Most are predatorial, ruthless and unscrupulous by nature, with many being clearly dishonest or cleverly disguising it. That's all well and dandy, as they can be whatever they choose to be however, part of their make-up and training is to con you and take control of you and bleed your finances, if and when they can — so be warned!

Lawyers can be sometimes like a heavy duty power tool, that needs experience and knowledge to control and use effectively.

This is an extremely vital point most people either miss, are incapable of understanding or actioning properly. For one reason or another whether it be their current psychological state and circumstances, personality, experiences, parental and social conditioning, television and media propaganda, most people get taken advantage of by lawyers, through financial loss, psychological and emotional instability.

Look don't get me wrong, sometimes you need a savage and brutal Rottweiler type of lawyer to deal with various people and authorities in this world, this is all well and fine, however you should be in charge and in control of that lawyer just as with the power tool, not the other way around. Any time you become aware that you have lost positive control, dump them in the garbage bin immediately, in other words have them cease to act for you, and do this in writing so they don't keep billing you.

Hence the obvious answer is you should be in charge of your lawyer at every moment. If you're not you are in deep trouble, and you're most likely heading for a big fall. If you like driving your $300,000 sports car blindfolded on a mountain road that twists and turns, be my guest.

Yes, it would be nice to be able to trust a lawyer and have peace of mind that your interests will be totally protected, but the truth is you can't. This is a myth and a fairy tale as history and many financially and emotionally ruined and bankrupt people and families will attest to.

A lawyer's loyalty lay first to themselves, their money making practice, their allegiance to the government, various ethics committees and bodies, and to no one else. They may give you the time of day if you have money they can get hold of. Short of that, they have no moral obligation or duty to you otherwise. They will drop you like a hot potato any time they wish to, so give that one some thought when it comes to any form of lenience or generosity you may wish to afford them.

You must treat lawyers like any business transaction where you are clear about the cost and value of the services you receive. Unfortunately, in family law related matters many people are psychologically incapacitated, vulnerable and fearful, making them easy targets for the vulture like nature of a lawyer.

So what work will you start doing on yourself or who will you see to get help and wisdom, in order to become better prepared in dealing with lawyers and the legal system?

If you think my view is cynical, and perhaps unfair, you may wish to read WOE UNTO YOU, LAWYERS!, a more comprehensive view By Fred Rodell, a Yale University law professor.

Remember there is no such thing as good luck, just preparedness and opportunity.

With love, kindness and strength
Michael