What Starts Your Engine?

By Michael Knight

Friday 3 July 2009

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Going through the Separation process can leave you feeling a bit worse for wear. There's absolutely no doubt about that. It's like being put through a big coffee grinder. Know the feeling?

What really happens to our mind, spirit and soul during or after such an exhaustive experience such as Separation or Divorce? As much as I know, sometimes I don't really feel I know anything, anymore. Do we really recover and how long does it take?

If you've had a bad experience it can all sound a bit depressing I know, but it's true.

You still maybe feeling fatigued, burnt out, broken down, demoralized, disheartened, disillusioned, unmotivated and aimless wondering where to now, and physically being unable to get excited about much at all. So what's the first step?

What really drives you and gets you going or 'floats your boat' as a friend of mine says? What gets you on a high, productive, and choofing along like a happy steam train?

Is it money, love, gratitude, giving or helping?

Doing whatever it takes to provide materialistic safety and comfort?

Is it stimulating our physical sensors by way of music, sex, some type of chemical drug that peps you up, or some other natural high? Doing good for others, being a protector, an advocate for the elderly and vulnerable perhaps. Is it an addiction to power, control, some form of retribution or harm toward others, perhaps under the guise of fun or justice?

The list is long and I'm sure it's almost as individual as the colour of a person's eyes. What really is it for you? What truly smokes your pipes and gets your heart racing into some aspect of life, no matter what age you are? What gets your feelings fired up or is it your mind that runs the show? Is there really a right or wrong answer? Can anybody really sit in judgment of what you use or do to get yourself cranked up? Do you really know what it is inside of you that does it for you? Have you revealed and shared this with anyone else, someone close perhaps?

So what ride in the amusement park of life would do it for you?

Working out the solution to one's own problems may appear sometimes to be inherently impossible. A bit like a lawyer or person who acts for himself has a fool for a client.

So what's the answer?

As another friend of mine said to me yesterday "Do you have a plan, written down? Not just thoughts in your head". I told him "yes, I do. In fact I have written many plans". He didn't quite believe me and said I was lying to myself. Notwithstanding writing many plans up over many years, and having some plan laying around, somewhere, it was certainly not a plan I was actioning now, right at this minute. So I guess on some level he was right. A plan is not a plan if it ain't being actioned. Possibly what I didn't have was a short term, set of specific instructions right at this moment in time, and I mean like that morning.

Although I hear the words action, don't think so much, just do anything from well meaning people around me, for some reason it doesn't seem to want to happen for me like that anymore, like in my younger years.

For some time the so called materialistic payoffs and wealth outside of me just haven't seemed important, although lately on some level if I am honest with myself I still crave them. I want to be, do and get whatever I want just to be rid of the limitations and restrictions that have plagued my life and the many good people I see around me. But is the real limitation caused by me wanting?

For the past decade or so since Separation and caring for my two beautiful children, hindered amongst what was a most unnecessary legalised slaughter match, the increased work of looking inside of me rather than out, revealed to me the real treasures of my life apart from my loving children, were the ones to be found on the inside. Living in the moment and showing deep and meaningful appreciation for every wonderful creation is the key, as that is all there really is.

However, does being in the here and now exclude having a plan and manifesting some abundance into your life? No, not at all, I say they are one of the same thing.

Living totally in every breath we take, being fully appreciative for all the wonderful joys we pop into our life, is perhaps really the fun and exhilaration of the almighty human game.

So cheer up Charlie Brown life is good now and will be even better for you — I guarantee it, just look inward.

Give what you can, when you can — you maybe surprised what may come from it.

Take care with love
Michael