One close friend (Download)

By Michael Knight

Monday 7 November 2011

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Being all alone with the effects of a Separation coping with grief and loneliness can signal trouble for many.

No matter how trivial the Separation to an outsider may appear, what's going on inside a person's mind, heart and soul may be a totally different ball game. It's certainly not to be underestimated or undervalued, or the worst case scenario can be loss of life, with death for all intense purposes being final — never getting to see that person again.

Everyone handles loss and grief in different ways and at different times. Sometimes grief may not surface for years or decades after an event, especially if the wound is not able to be dealt with at the time. One things for sure though, a person's overall health is far better if issues can be released and dealt with sooner than later.

When issues actually surface is mostly unpredictable and essentially a waiting game. There are different triggers and catalysts for extracting the poison out that can help, but again everyone is different. The scary part is most people have many issues buried within.

Some can be surface issues and revealed to whoever maybe close at the time, yet other more sensitive, embarrassing and traumatic issues can be buried deep and never get revealed until a person feels completely safe, if at all.

Some keep them buried ignoring their problems or may simply not be aware of them. They can erupt quickly or cause people to suffer in silence. Either way intense feelings of pain can be present and without a caring soul anywhere to be found, their discomfort can be prolonged and even escalate.

However, having at least one close friend who really cares about you can sometimes do the trick and mean the difference between keeping your head above the murky waters of a Separation or going under.

Depending on the type of person you are, dictated by the many troubling encounters throughout your life, you may have many wounds below your surface just waiting to get out. Hence, often a deep trust, connection and intimate relationship with the right person may be needed to release these underlying wounds, with professional personnel not always being the right candidate.

Although having said that, I had a wonderful counselor once who was clearly feeling my pain (or her inside pain) with tears rolling down her cheeks. Being close to me I could see her face echo sadness as she sat helpless while my mouth dripped words of child and mother issues, as feelings of inadequacy from an abandoned child who failed to protect his family, and be protected.

Her closeness and empathy helped me considerably draw out my pain and yelping as I felt she cared and it was safe enough to do so. Yes, she may have been a smart cookie too knowing which buttons to press. Looking back and after attending upon many other professionals, she was a rare gem indeed, illustrating how an emotionally caring connection can often be a primary requirement for results, not just academic qualifications.

In this world of no one cares having one close friend to reach out to for comfort can be all you need. A loving, understanding and empathetic person can be like heaven, supporting, healing and guiding you through sometimes the most darkest of hours to the other side of strength and brighter moments. A true friend won't laugh, mock or think you are weak through being vulnerable and dealing with your inside issues, so please stay clear of these types.

On the other hand the types of people who you can connect with and come to your aid are special souls. They should always be treated with love, care and respect. They are truly saviours of God who can get you through a difficult time with their warm, caring and loving hearts imparting all forms of encouragement and inner strength that only few can ever do.

It often only takes a drop from a loving heart to make you feel good and feel brand new.

With love, kindness and peace
Michael