How will you cope with Separation? (Download)

By Michael Knight

Tuesday 26 July 2011

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The way in which you have experienced the world prior Separation will largely determine how you cope with the Separation process and the world post Separation.

Depending on how you have developed in the mind before your Separation and what you experience during the Separation process, the affect upon your mind and rehabilitation that follows can be considerable and last a decade or more.

Some factors that determine the timeline of change into your new life after Separation may include the severity of the Separation trauma you experience and your capacity and desire for growth and maturity. The depth to which you look at who you really are, your inside issues and reforming parts of your identity, how best to perceive and relate to the world around you, settling on a vocation that is in alignment with your new set of values and of course doing whatever else it takes to heal and restore your natural state of peace.

For some, a Separation can be just a mere glitch, a change of circumstances, an aberration, a brief setback or slight change of course in your journey. Or it can be a sense of relief, cause enormous upheaval and conflict requiring dramatic change, be a great opportunity for growth and maturity, a profound revelation, magnanimous transformation including being reborn. The list is endless.

As everyone is unique and will be affected differently, it really comes down to choice. But whether this choice is a conscious decision or an unconscious one may really be the question as to how a Separation will affect your life. What is buried in your sub-conscious will play a big part in the beyond Separation process of which most people are never aware causing considerable upset, confusion and distress all around.

From birth your experiences and social conditioning will have helped form a set of beliefs and values residing mostly in your sub-conscious by which you reference most things in your daily life, including how you will respond to and react during the Separation process. Your beliefs and values after having been practiced many times will become entrenched and habitual — often very strong and resistant to change, as they can often become fundamental to a person's survival and identity; everything they have ever come to know about themselves.

Change can be perceived by some as dismantling, destroying or losing their sense of self and a step to losing their life, or put more bluntly...death. And of course this is a state none of us really wish to visit. Hence, the resistance to change or staying the same is the best way they know how to preserve their life. Change is alien and an unfathomable alternative for many to not only remain alive but advance their life for the better.

There are many reasons why people aren't able or willing to adapt to change, however it can be said of some people that change is only possible when life is actually threatened, and their raw survival instincts kick in and flow them down a different path.

So in concluding, the combination of one person's identity, habits, values, beliefs and common sense being out of alignment with the person they are Separating from, is what generally dictates the degree of difficulty during the Separation, and indeed possibly throughout the relationship. Adding into the mix fear and ignorance, lawyers, a legal system, other time consuming complexities, processes, costs and people stampeding through yours and your family's personal lives, often ends up being a recipe for disaster, which most people say in hindsight was a complete waste of time and something they could have done without.

Perhaps having read this article you can now be aware and make some corrections to your present way avoiding that black cloud that looms in one direction, in favour of a bright sunny day in the other. Good luck!

With love, kindness and peace
Michael