Moving on: When that love never quite flowered (Download)

By Michael Knight

Tuesday 4 October 2011

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Did your heart ever get a chance to really bloom or was your heart left feeling upside down?

Did the mix of chemistry between you both cause sparks of passion to fly and then distill into a potion of eternal lust and love, or was it a just a cauldron of froth and bubble just simmering away with no real zing?

Sometimes it's hard to tell whether you both have that magical mix to keep your relationship together, fresh and alive — or whether it's best to bail in search of a more compatible and desirable partner, one that appreciates you and has a mutual interest in loving you as much as you do them.

For a relationship to really sizzle you must get to the core of who you both really are, separately and together. Fleshing out what really matters to you each, being absolutely honest and raw down to the bone, warts and all.

If you can't, you still may get by, however you maybe living a lie that won't do either of you any good in the medium to long term, as you won't have reached that point of trust and deep down love that is needed to carry you through the tough times, resist temptations and in those latter years when the wrinkles start to creep in, not to mention the euphoria, bliss and thrill of that crazy thing they call love.

Love needs to be tested else you will never discover if it is a true love between the two of you. This mightn't matter for some, however if love is to be bothered with at all, you may as well put it to the test to see what it's really made of. Who knows you just both may get a surprise and really come alive!

So how do you know when it's time to move on?

20+ thoughts to ponder

1. When you have both assessed your values and really looked hard at the pros and cons of a split and come up empty, even after seeking the help of independent relationship professionals and possibly fair and well balanced family members, then perhaps you can do no more save to move on.

2. When you have argued your case until you're black and blue in the face, it's time to move on.
   
   
3. When you have given everything including your soul with nothing in return, it's definitely time to move on.

4. When you have cried more times than you've laughed, then it's time to move on.

5. When you have wanted to be away from your partner more than you have wanted to be with them, then it's time to move on.

6. When the other person is relentless in always pursuing their needs over yours, then it's time to move on.

7. When the heartache of loneliness and abandonment scuttles through your soul more times you care to admit, it's time to move on.

8. If you have been sensitive to their needs, helped and cherished them without much in return, it's time to move on.

9. When you have bleated your feelings and soul out like a pathetic lamb with no humanly empathic response, it's time to move on.

10. When the other person has such a low opinion of you and keeps your head under water, bringing you up only momentarily for their amusement and needs, it's time to move on.

11. When you really only exist for the other person in their eyes, and your life doesn't really count for much, it's time to move on.

12. When another is oblivious to your needs despite both subtle, obvious and point blank communication, it's time to move on.

13. When they always have to be right and win, and it's nothing they've done wrong with a somehow sanctimonious theme always shining through in every sentence, with them not to blame but it's you, then it's time to move on.

14. When you're there with them but not really there, it's time to move on.

15. When they don't listen to your heart, it's time to move on.

16. When everything in their world is more important than you are, it's time to move on.

17. When you've tried to get close in all so many different ways and failed to get that special drop in return, it's time to move on.

18. When the walls are too high to jump over or too fortified to get through causing that almighty lack of connection to happen, it's time to move on.

19. If you feel like you are living with a stranger, it's time to move on.

20. When they fail to at least acknowledge you, your feelings and do that special thing that ignites your flame of love, it's time to move on.

21. When you are but a mere figment in the others imagination, it's time to move on.

22. When your passion and that spark finally fizzles out, it's time to move on.

Listen to your heart, feelings, intuition with some reasoning and I'm pretty sure you will come up with the right answer.

Whilst it's nice to keep giving love and all the good stuff like a bottomless pit, the truth and reality is that when you're in a relationship, it really needs to be a mutual exchange of accepted and needed gifts that nourish and nurture both of your hearts and souls in whatever ways are needed.

Else it is not a 'real'- ationship, it's a puff of smoke, an illusion and two Separate lives of some description.

While the ambit of the analysis you make can be wide perhaps inexhaustible, the point to consider is the magic that's needed by two people in the relationship to keep that chemistry alive and bubbly, well at least congruent. Love can always be born or reborn, although it does take two.

There can be no water without both hydrogen and oxygen from what we know, so trying to produce this white gold liquid is almost pointless without these two vital elements. You may as well wish for a pair of wings and go flying with Superman.

Hitting your head against the brick wall many times and over many years will do you no good either, unless it helps with you maturing and awakening from the deep sleep you have possibly been in. Denial can be a cruel hoax sometimes yet I'm sure it has it's purpose in the short term.

So, when that love never really flowered, don't beat yourself up or the other person, just move on.

With love, kindness and peace
Michael