Irreconcilable Differences (Download)

By Michael Knight

Friday 10 September 2010

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Irreconcilable differences is what they call it but what's the real problem, and can it be solved so both can live happy ever after?

How well do you know thyself and the other person you've possibly had children with?

Whilst it maybe too late for a previous or even current relationship, the knowledge gained may just help you save that precious next relationship which maybe worth its weight in gold.

When two people cannot seem to live together anymore the usual choice is to split. However, if the cause of the unhappiness or discontent is examined, more often than not the justification for the split can simply evaporate. But of course, it will take a real heart driven desire by the two of you to wanna give it a go.

In some legal jurisdictions offering 'irreconcilable differences' as a grounds for divorce is often far too easy. If both parents were aware of what was really happening inside of each other, would they have had a better chance at working through their issues and in many cases not disbanding the relationship and family — what can often be described as a fate worse than death for many parents and children leaving long term scars.

So perhaps before the ultimate split, if that's what you honestly believe is the right path to travel, you may wish to glance at the list of causes below enabling you to identify what maybe troubling you or your partner. Perhaps have fun and adventure in discovering aspects about each other and coming to a mutually satisfying resolution on the many and varying issues between the two of you, building a strong bond of unity like never before.

Being aware of the problem is the first half and possibly the hardest part of the solution, making the fix or remainder of the problem so much easier, so what have you to lose? Possibly no where as much as you have to gain!

One common irreconcilable difference is when there is no care, concern, thought or love toward you, as it becomes crystal clear perhaps after many years, that it's all about them and their wants and needs, and that you don't really matter in the slightest. A very hard pill to swallow and finally accept but a very frequent scenario indeed.

Whilst the list below is far from complete, most of these things are at play on some level in the minds of people whether consciously concealed or denied unconsciously. This list is a guide and hopefully a good starting place highlighting the competing claims or differences between partners.

List of Trouble Spots



• Wants, Desires, Aspirations, Goals, Experiences
  
• Values
  
• Emotions - sensory & reactionary nature
  
• Levels of thought, care, concern & love for the other, as well as yourself
  
• Addictions - drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, adultery, work, TV, technology & other various kicks/payoffs etc.
  
• Maturity
  
• Lack of knowledge
  
• Fears - insecurities of the unknown
  
• Commitment, Loyalty, Trust, Honesty, Faithfulness, Admiration
  
• Not enjoying life in the present
  
• Lack of vision for the future
  
• Mindset (subconscious mind)
  
• Cognitive capacity
  
• Preconditioning/programming by environment up to this point in time
  
• Confusion, disorientation
  
• Stress levels
  
• Spiritual or religious beliefs
  
• Ability, desire and acceptance of change
  
• Parenting styles
  
• Mental & spiritual growth
  

Two people could spend a life time together unraveling the mysteries behind each others masks right down to the core of theirs souls. An unbelievable journey if you could find the courage to shift your mindset 20 degrees towards true love. What more could anybody ask for?

What else can you add to this list?

With love, kindness and peace
Michael