Family Court System — Shock, Drama, Fun & Attention

By Michael Knight

Wednesday 2 June 2010

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Have you ever been dragged off to court not understanding how it all really works, ending up in shock horror and total disbelief at what happened in the court room or foyer?

No matter whether lawyers are involved or you are self-represented, the games, non-truths, trickery and deception from court building antics can leave you gobsmacked. What you perceive may be totally different to your expectations causing a dramatic shift in your thinking and consciousness.

Whilst it maybe business as usual for the lawyers, judiciary and court staff, everyday parents often crumble under the pressures usually associated with Family Court proceedings, both in and out of court, short and long term.

Whether it be making poor decisions lacking insight, signing Consent Orders that don't end up serving your family — having been coerced into making and not realising the error until having left the court building — or you just simply experience a ghastly process lacking common sense and fairness. Either way, the negative experiences can leave you flat. On the positive side it can be the necessary wake-up call for you not to be there.

The pressure exerted upon you by some lawyers, the nonsensical waste of time, energy and finances can often see the lives of many families go from bad to worse. If you come up with better ways of handling your Separation as opposed to a legal approach, it is highly desirable to investigate and attempt such options, no matter how creative and unorthodox these methods may first seem.

A Separation is a really tough gig at the best of times for those who are decent, honest and hard working citizens just wanting to mind their own business and look after their own lot. These types of people are usually the good parents, not wanting to inflict grief or harm onto others but rather have the simple desire to be just left alone, heal and recover. Surely, being left alone is not too much to ask for when you haven't done anything wicked right — WRONG, think again!

However, part of this unfortunate Separation mess is when good parents are dragged through the mud by so called aggrieved Ex's, usually into common institutions such as the Family Court, Child Support Agency and through other bureaucratic and hostile processes. Not always just for a good reason either mind you, "No No No", but because they like the drama, fun and in many cases the attention. In other words those who have some form of personality disorder or mental illness can cause bitter, hateful and in some cases absolutely evil behaviour toward you and others.

Unfortunately, those parents who appear to be demonically possessed are usually looking for that ultimate kick of excitement through some form of payback toward the other parent, notwithstanding the perceived wrong done to them being caused by someone other than their Ex. A transference if you will often takes place, with you being the bunny and target for vitriolic outrage. Some Ex's don't even need an excuse, they just have a hateful and insecure disposition, with no doubt guilt and other issues burning out of control deep in their core.

If you have an ex-partner who has you in their gun, are willing to invest their time and throw away their money into such institutions, possibly represented by lawyers or who are simply empowered by flaws in the system, you may as well put on your fastest running shoes and hightail out of there, quicker than you can say The Pretty and Priceless Pearl of Persia.

Otherwise, if you are conned into a fighting match with a deeply guilt ridden and vengeful Ex, you just may lose everything you have, especially your freedom and your marbles. It normally becomes a no win situation, no matter which way you look at it or what you do. The pressure and stresses of this area in life may just see you on the path to a secondary breakdown or mental illness, so weighing up your predicament carefully is well advised.

From an institutional perspective, everyone is entitled to have their say and put their case forward, well at least on the face of it anyway. If you have money and lawyers it certainly helps keep your case in the business arena and money siphons operational, however at any time you become poverty stricken and on Skid Row after having been fleeced of course, the system can quite easily declare you a 'Vexatious Litigant'. If and when opposing lawyers or the system deems you are no longer worthy or amusing in the fun parlour, they can simply knock out your application in a heart beat without justification. This action prohibits you from filing further applications despite your case having merit.

The real difficulty is that Family Courts allow paying customers in, no matter what a person's motives are, vindictive or not. I'm sure it's often a hard call for those on the bench no matter how insightful or asleep they may be, plus ultimately the courts and other government agencies do have a financial interest and mandate to take into consideration.

So ultimately what does a good, decent and loving parent do to avoid all this trouble?

Run, and possibly leave town?

Maybe it's not as silly as it sounds for some people. Sometimes you just can't blame those parents who pick up the kids and go when they're up against demented Ex's and systems that just don't protect the right people from an onslaught.

With love, kindness and peace
Michael