The secrets people keep

By Michael Knight

Saturday 8 May 2010

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Unable to share your secrets and inner self or do you simply choose not to?

Both relationships and people fail because of internal secrets unable to be shared. Secrets will kill the relationship every time.

A lack of desire or inability to be open and share sends closeness and intimacy to the graveyard real quick.

Coming clean with everything takes a genuine and sensitive commitment on both sides and some effort. It is by no means easy but it is a barrier to be overcome if the other person and relationship means anything at all to you.

Secrets are not just about embarrassing moments, differences in value systems or betrayal, it is every thing and every moment that you hide from the other person or do not share, especially when the other person is showing a genuine interest in you and caring concern to learn more about you and get closer.

It's all too easy for walls to go up with partners who are either too insensitive or lack the capacity for understanding and empathy, however one must accept those who are happy with a superficial relationship if it is a mutual thing.

Unless a deep level of trust and connection is achieved with the person you are with, you may as well walk away right now because it won't really work. If the closeness and connectedness is just not there in the relationship, you must ask yourself is this what you want and is it time to get out, no matter how many years have passed.

It may be you are both simply a mismatch on a fundamental connecting layer. Water and oil don't mix either. They are both fantastic substances but just not together where it really matters. Being aware of the difference between you and your partner is the first step but the real step to freedom is getting out.

So what is the secret to a loving and lasting relationship that blossoms for decades?

Perhaps it's being able to open yourself right up to each other revealing each and every secret no matter how big or small, significant or insignificant. It requires immense trust, vulnerability and closeness but if you don't have that, do you have a real relationship at all or are you just kidding yourself and wasting your time? There are others who will gladly welcome and value what you have.

With love, kindness and peace
Michael