Don't get caught in a litigation battle

By Michael Knight

Friday 23 April 2010

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As for parents who find themselves caught up in the conflict and litigation battle, so often driven by fear, confusion, greed and hatred as they battle over the spoils of children and financial issues, will the outcome really be what either of them truly want or expect?

Although, many can sit on the sidelines agreeing with this sentiment and wondering why parents are so silly, it's not always easy to see the forest for the trees when you are a parent caught up in the middle of it, and possibly have been for many years clouding your clear and wise judgment.

To the unaware, the process usually starts of slow, appearing as perhaps a lawyer's letter, a Family Court information session, mediation or even court hearing depending on your court processes in your particular jurisdiction. It all seems quite harmless but formal nonetheless, as you think or feel you must obey or respond to these directives by this legal authority.

However, it's a bit like throwing fish bait of a boat drawing in the bigger fish, and with pretty coloured lures and some deception both parents are on the hook. Within a short time the hook is pulled tight and you are both being pulled in for the kill. Any sense of freedom of choice, free will and common sense will be quickly lost as the hook of litigation and conflict is properly reinforced in your mind and soul.

Welcome to the legal psychology of lawyers.

Inducing you into handing over to them a big fat slice of the family jewels, which they take first mind you when carving up the asset pool, is what many lawyers are renowned for. However, it's not really their fault you want to pay them all this money for making your life a living hell just because you're immature and lack knowledge — is it?

It's not uncommon that many parents have an expectation that legal and other professionals in this Separation and Divorce area of life will look after them. Unfortunately, your expectations would be misguided and possibly fool hardy in this instance.

The Simple Trick to end Litigation

Well it must be said the easiest way to end litigation is to never start it in the first place, however until people become fully aware of the tricks and traps of the legal system, this maybe some time away yet.

As you are being reeled toward the boat, flapping your little fins wildly as you do your final death roll, the fond family memories of what used to be maybe starting to fade.

Alas, being the brilliant parent that you are you do not accept this foregone conclusion to the end of you and your family, and with one little flip of your mindset, by doing a twist and a somersault you can sever the fishing line with your razor sharp teeth and fins, being free to live another day. The flip of the mindset is about getting above your own personal feelings and perhaps hate and fear, and communicate directly with your partner about what s/he wants, in order that matters maybe resolved.

Neither parent will get exactly what they want, but it will be far better than getting only a tiny piece of the asset pool and have your family live in a world of isolation, bitterness, psychological torment, emotionally struggling and perhaps in poverty for the many years ahead. This is the real sad part of litigation that no one ever gets to hear about.

With litigation ranging anywhere from a combined legal bill of $20,000 to $500,000 plus for ordinary families, it can certainly leave a big hole in your life and futures of you and your children.

Don't make the mistake, do everything you can to avoid litigation and the blood bath that it so often is.

With love, kindness and peace
Michael