On Your Own (Download)

By Michael Knight

Tuesday 11 May 2010

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If you have been cast out physically and emotionally from the relationship making you feel expendable and as if you were never there, you can suffer enormous sadness from the effects of loneliness, loss, grief and change. Add this to a possible loss of identity, the woes of a legal battle, partner conflict, unable to see and help your children, interference from authorities and even struggling to look after yourself on the most basic levels, you can really be in deep weeds.

Nonetheless, if your spirit is strong and have the courage to carry on, you will come to a place in life where you are not only comfortable on your own, you will start to enjoy the many freedoms and rewards it brings.

Even being in a deeply loving and committed relationship where a person is really there for you and vice versa may just be a stone throw away, but first some time alone to fix yourself up and do some soul searching is in order. It's much needed work that ideally should be done alone unless you are super lucky to find a companion who you can do the work with.

Whilst many embark on this voyage alone from the onset of the split, others bumble from one relationship to the next looking for love, security, nurturing and anything really in an effort to flee the pain of their existence and fill the gaping void now left behind. Although this is understandable and may serve you in the short to medium term numbing your hurt and providing some sense of joy, longer term and on a deeper level it may only serve to prolong the pain until you find yourself again and discover your true direction.

Not knowing who you are may cause you to attract the wrong personality into your life, giving you less than you hoped for. Through your naivety and immaturity the relationship may end up heartless and void of all the goodies you so dearly wanted, stunting your growth as opposed to encouraging it. Without receiving the proper fuel for expansion in this new relationship, you will only be hindered in your development and possibly increase the time it takes to work out who you are. Until you first work out that you are right for you, you certainly won't attract another human being that's right for you. The whole process can be a real catch 22 scenario.

Without this much needed growth a healthy relationship will struggle to form. At first you may think your strong feelings of love and chemistry will suffice, however the nuts and bolts needed for an enduring and truly alive relationship of togetherness will require at least a match of personalities and values. Finding yourself is the key and can be found inward, not through the eyes of others. When you are comfortable with being on your own, then you are totally free to attract into your life what you need to conquer the world.

With love, kindness and peace
Michael