Seeing through the mask (Download)

By Michael Knight

Sunday 7 March 2010

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Relationships can be one of the most wonderful experiences and form of solidarity known to man, so it's no wonder people from all walks of life crave this loving yet sometimes complicated existence over solitude.

Whether you're getting out of one relationship or getting into another, it's extremely helpful to understand why the relationship failed and what you now really want, and don't respectively. If you have the awareness you can also learn an extraordinary amount about yourself, giving you an opportunity to improve and direct yourself toward other more desirable experiences.

Understanding the foundational makeup of both yourself and another is a wise choice before committing to any form of relationship as it may save you a whole heap of time and trouble.

Although everyone has an assortment of personality or character traits, some are possibly more destructive in a relationship setting in comparison with other areas of life where they may be quite advantageous. For example in various forms of workplace roles where being a dominant narcissistic bossy leader type can be effective to get the job done.

However, on the topic of relationships it can be helpful and often imperative to identify the personality profile of a person you're having a relationship with. Whether it be a casual or superficial association, or you are wanting a deep down connection, understanding one's personality just may help you achieve that. To prevent some bitter disappointment and much confusion, understanding the various types of personalities of people may just give your life a swinging start.

While some personalities may not be a suitable match for you, they maybe for others. Even though a perfect match may not always be present in a relationship being aware of what the person is all about is half the battle. A big plus really, as it allows you to make decisions about what to expect and how to handle them, as they may genuinely have other qualities you like, strongly admire or in love with.

Furthermore, some types of disorders can actually have flavour that can give your relationship and life the spice you believe you require. Again, you may have to ask yourself why you need this kick from another — what payoff are you getting back. What character disorder do you have... hmmm?

There is no right or wrong in the mix of personalities, unless one causes serious harm to the other, it can be quite an experience, possibly one you were truly seeking, underneath that mask of naivety. Only you can be the real judge of that. However the test is whether you can have a functional working and loving long term relationship with them, as after all, that's what I believe most people want.

Whilst the theory of personality disorders is complex, with multiple disorders and all their variations, the narcissistic personality is possibly one of the most common through the world of Separation. It deals with a type that centres usually around themselves and power, their own self importance and getting things their own way or else. This often leads to a breakdown in communication, negotiation and yes, with them more often than not trundling off to lawyers and courts, often involving a myriad of external parties and the like just for the attention.

One could say the legal industry is built upon and reaps the rewards from narcissistic behaviours, so when a lawyer first sees this type of personality walk into their office, it's no wonder they turn on their subservient role empowering these narcissists even more. After all, they are usually the ones that have the money and are willing to splurge it on outsiders just to show how generous they are, as opposed to spending it on their own children, family and loved ones. All a bit sad and pathetic really but will the narcissist see this? I don't think so.

A thing to note about personalities of others is it may take considerable time, energy and knowledge to decipher, and not a path to pursue lightly unless it interests you or feel it's necessary for your survival and that of the relationship. Unmasking both yourself and your partner will either help you get closer to each other through awareness and change, or help you to say goodbye.

So to all you kind, caring, giving and empathetic souls out there, take heed to whether you are involved with a narcissist personality and decide whether you are really getting your needs met in the relationship, or being sucked dry of emotion and ultimately your life force. Not having a relationship at all is often far better than having one with a narcissist, but hey, my guess is you just may be starting to figure that out by now. Good luck!

To read more about the Narcissistic Personality Click Here.

With love, kindness and peace
Michael