Power Imbalance

By Michael Knight

Saturday 16 January 2010

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e all know traveling in a car at speeds of greater than 150 miles/hour is dangerous, or climbing down an active volcano is not without it's hazards. So to is associating with Family Court lawyers who have their own agenda and best interests above yours and your family.

We all know the Family Law system is more often than not a rort and a huge gamble, not unlike heading to the race track or off to a casino with all your finances to test out your luck. The odds are against you that you will win, especially in the long run. Yet despite these facts, many people trot off to test their fate.

Contrary to the expectations of many, common sense, fairness and justice does not prevail. The legal system will fleece the vulnerable, naive, liars, power hungry and mentally disturbed whether those parties are at fault or not, so expect no mercy and only misery. Hopefully, understanding the reality of this process will be enough to instill fear into both parents not to take the gamble in the first place, and seek a more amiable and productive solution through negotiation with each other, even it if takes some time.

However, the reality with most cases that traverse the grounds of the court building is there is a power imbalance between the parents. An imbalance was most likely there in the relationship but chances are it was increased and made worse due to the inclusion of family lawyers and the legal system, giving both parents a lesser chance of an amicable resolution and return of some normality, lengthening the time of recovery with each day they are locked into a legal battle.

However, there is a better way.

No matter whether you are an average Mum or Dad or a mega movie star Mum and Dad, the best way to get what you want is to negotiate and cut a deal direct with your ex. Don't rely on lawyers to do this, otherwise you just may find you will eventually come away from the lawyers, not only with a messed up head and life in tatters, but with barely a penny in your pocket for you or your children's future, as this is what most of them usually do best. Remember it's not their fault, they get educated to be that way plus you decided to go to them in the first place, so in a sense 'you reap what you sow'.

Now for many, dealing direct with your ex may seem unattractive, perhaps scary and impossible for many reasons, but hey, what is the alternative? Being controlled by lawyers, psychologists, courts and the state? Being bounced from pillar to post according to their time schedules and processes, leaving you all battered and bruised and in a more depleted financial state than when you began this horrid battle?

Or is a better solution to grow up and become mature, taking control and full responsibility for all matters that involve you? By becoming more assertive, overcoming your fears, gaining knowledge and the right levels of support you will eventually harden up. It's just a question of when, and will it be in time before your life goes to rack and ruin. As a positive indicator, you'll find that you will feel better about yourself as you gain more power and control over your life, both in the short and long term.

With love, kindness and peace
Michael