Taking an assertiveness pill

By Michael Knight

Thursday 19 November 2009

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During a relationship it's not uncommon to discover one person having an aggressive type manner or personality and the other having a passive type. This imbalance, although not healthy, can work and last for some length of time throughout the relationship.

However, when it comes to a Separation one usually finds the person with the passive type persona struggling to fend for themselves with all the legal matters that lay before them, and yes in particular, dealing with some lawyers in the clinical way that's needed.

So it's time to pop that assertiveness pill and get in control of yourself and the relevant issues before you.

So what is being assertive all about?

Essentially being assertive is all about communicating your thoughts, feelings and needs to another in a clear, open and honest way, maximising your chances in order that person may understand you.

Having conveyed yourself to another, such as a lawyer, observe whether they too can be assertive back, validating and doing what you ask. If not, pick up your papers, thank them for their time and inform them you can't work together and won't be requiring their services. That is about as simple as it should be. However, more often than not, this is hardly the case.

So perhaps pop two assertiveness pills. Ahhh.. that will feel better. You may feel a sense of power coming over you, a feeling you may come to like. Don't be alarmed if it feels like you are being demanding or aggressive either. Sometimes going from a passive form of communication to an assertive one, may require you to go a bit more full on into the aggressive region, to counteract the fact you have been in the passive mode for so long. Give it some time and it will level out.

By practicising assertiveness on a daily basis it will eventually become a habit, requiring less concentration and effort over time. Over a period of as little as a month, you may notice changes to your personality. It may feel weird at first because you will start to achieve more things and getting what you want, simply by being clearer and making better choices.

After feeling dis empowered for so long, possibly from what appeared to be an overburdening and controlling ex making you feel like you had been trampled on, this new found power from within will be a God send.

So good for you, you deserve to have your natural power restored.

With love, kindness and peace
Michael